


First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes Zero...

by MysteryMuse



Series: MMX-XXX [21]
Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X
Genre: Bondage, Church Sex, Crack Relationships, Extremely Dubious Consent, Forced Marriage, M/M, Maverick on Hunter, Probably sacriligeous, Rare Pair, Shotgun Wedding, Vile Destroys Everything, Why Did I Write This?, Wine, Zero is a mouthy sub, ridiculously human robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 02:37:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4246257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysteryMuse/pseuds/MysteryMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vile forces Zero to marry him, destroying the sanctity of marriage in the process. Rare pair, written for fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes Zero...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mieldyne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mieldyne/gifts).



It was probably a good thing that the church Vile barged through with his Ride Armor was completely decrepit. The altar had long since been stripped of holy items, the stained glass windows had crumbled, and the pews were collapsing of dry rot and termites. 

Vile's Ride Armor clutched, in its massive fist, an angrily squirming, red-faced Zero, who struggled manfully against the improvised webbing of ropes, chains and whatever-the-hell-Vile-found-lying-around-to-tie-him-down-with. Zero shook off dust and plaster and squalled muffled muffled cries from behind a hastily improvized gag of an empty gun shoved between his lips and taped awkwardly in place by too many loops of thick duct tape. 

Vile piloted the Armor across the broken floor and faded carpet, rudely yelling out, "Anybody wanna make a donation?" and cackling with glee. He moved the hand clutching Zero to drape Zero stomach first across what remained of the communion rail, so that the blond's ass hung upright and his head hung down, with his hair pooling against the floor. 

The Maverick hopped out of the armor and landed neatly in front of the machine, taking the quick step over to Zero to crouch down, grab a little of the blond's hair and grin, pressing down hard. "MGHGh," protested the Hunter, doubled over the old rail and huffing for breath against the pressure. Vile cackled at Zero's distress, "You just hang out here, gorgeous, while I go find us a preacher to make it official." He pulled out another coil of rope from the Armor and crouched, pushing in to wrap Zero's neck several times in the rope, then tug it tight under the communion rail and bind his neck toward his thighs. Zero was trapped in the incredibly uncomfortable folded position, his face burning red. 

Vile grinned and smacked Zero's ass hard. "Don't go anywhere! Won't take long, wifey." 

"MRRhg," wafted back from the floor.

\- - - 

He honestly did try and find someone, for about 15 minutes anyway. But Vile's scanners didn't pick up anyone in the area, so he quickly diverted and bounced up the half-caved in stairwell to rummage around the upper floor of the church. He found a faded purple stole and a sealed bottle of wine. The label was almost illegible, but it was clearly pre-war. "Eh, what the hell, close enough." 

Giggling, he lowered his shoulder cannon at the nearest wall, blew it apart and leapt down through it to the main floor, clutching the stole and the wine. He gave Zero's ass another smack - with the wine bottle - and relished the Hunter's strangled yelp from the floor. After that, he set the wine down on a nearby table and flipped the threadbare stole across his shoulders. 

Then he grinned even worse and moved around behind Zero, gripping the blond's hips hard. 

"Hey, Vile, do you take this piece of hot ass to be your bitchin' wife forever?" He raised his voice, mockingly answering himself. "Yes I sure do!" Then leaned down over Zero. "Hey, hot bitchin' wife, you take me to be your badass husband forever and ever? Grunt once for yes and two for no." 

He wasn't remotely surprised to hear two angry, gurgling grunts from below him, but he just laughed harder. "Gee, I only heard one noise, Zero! I knew you loved me. Blah blah, power vested in me, something something holy matrimony boring latin words nobody remembers - you may now fuck the bride. Wine optional." He reached past Zero, grabbed the wine and yanked the cork out with his teeth. He drank a bit, then poured out some of it on Zero's back, gleefully watching the sweet, blood-red fluid run down Zero's thighs and hips. 

The Maverick leaned over and licked about half of it off Zero's skin, deliberate and strategically, then proceeded to, as promised, fuck the bride. 

\- - - 

Zero lay on the floor, weary, his hair soaked in red wine, plaster dust and other things. He rested a hand over his stomach while his body healed, and stared up at the cracks in the chapel ceiling. "Doesn't count," he said finally, vocoder raspy from all the dust he'd breathed in from the floor, bruises already fading away from his throat. 

"It totally does!" Vile sat up and protested, flapping the old stole at Zero. "I have the magic scarf. And we're in a fucking church!" 

Zero managed a really, really dry smile. "No ring." 

Vile thrust his lower lip at Zero. "You're impossible to please, you know that, Zero?" 

The Hunter snorted, unwilling to dignify that with any response. 

The Maverick snickered and moved back over Zero, grabbing his wrists and pinning them down at his sides. "You should just be glad I didn't decide to make it a shotgun wedding. Anyway, you know what they say comes after love and marriage, don't you?" 

Zero looked up, a faint puzzled frown. "Death and taxes?"

"Babies, moron." Vile tightened his grip. "I wanna get started on that right away." 

"Good thing we're not really married, then." Zero's nose wrinkled. He gazed past Vile's shoulder to a pale fresco on the ceiling he was absolutely sure was scowling down at them in disapproval. 

"We're married as long as I say we are," Vile countered, and pushed Zero back into the floor, holding him down as he kissed the blond hard once again. He kept his weight pinning Zero, and while they kissed, he moved a hand away from the blond to rummage around in a storage compartment in his armor, then pulled back enough to smirk at Zero. "And I have a ring, jackass." He lifted Zero's hand that he still held and slid a broad, featureless titanium band onto the Hunter's ring finger - well, maybe wrestled it onto him, but the effect was the same. 

Zero blinked a few times, momentarily speechless. 

"See? Married. There's the ring. Now suck it up and get ready to be barefoot and pregnant, gorgeous." 

Vile tugged Zero up off the floor by his shoulders, set him on his feet again, and quickly retied the blond's hands behind his back. The ring on Zero's finger glinted in a momentary shaft of light as Vile pulled his captive, wine-drenched "bride" by the upper arm, back toward the Ride Armor. 

The Ride Armor activated as Vile jumped into it, and its heavy hand clamped tight around Zero, lifting him off the floor. Vile turned the Armor around and started to dash out of the church the way he came in - through a structural support and another bit of previously undamaged wall. 

The church caved in at last before they were even 100 yards away. Zero managed to twist around in the Armor's fist to see it, and chuckled despite himself. "I think that's a sign!" he yelled over the rush of air to the Maverick. "First chance I get, I'm filing for divorce!" 

Vile only cackled harder.


End file.
